... Stay-at-home mom when

you take a trip to the closed library,

alone,

loaded with a dozen kids' books,

at 8:45 p.m.

and it feels like quite the outing.

We had an unexpected afternoon - Zoe wanted to go home with Grandpa and Grandma after church! So after stopping by our house on the way out for an extra change of clothes, her bunny and paccy (yes, she *does* still have that... there's only so much you can change in a little girl's life at one time! ), off she went! And delighted she was. Just a-grinning away in the back seat. Thanks, Mama Yoder!

So Ben and I had the afternoon to ourselves! Well, almost. Baby Leah was still here, but it was a sweet time of actually *talking* over the BLT's we had for lunch. Been a while since that happened!

But we both missed her. Funny how that happens. You get a little break, and then you start crying cuz you realize what it would be like if something would happen to your precious little girl, how empty it would feel.

Our thoughts were stirred that way through the sermon this morning, and our pastor sharing how they lost one of their little girls just around her first birthday in a car accident. Wow. I cannot imagine. Hearing things like that make me just want to treasure these days with all of my heart!

I had been wanting a few snapshots of Daddy and Leah, and it just wasn't happening. Today, while the bacon was frying in the oven, I saw the light was coming in just right through the kitchen window so I grabbed my camera and took a few of Ben and Her Tinyness...

some black and white...

and some color

I'm just in awe of the size difference between their hands. Her little fingers can't even wrap around his thumb!

I love these next two, despite Leah's inability to look at the camera.

What a wonderful Daddy this little girl has...

The Little One got her pictures taken too.

12 Weeks Old. Unbelieveable!

She has a default look: mad. Oh, she can smile, and I tease her that she'll fall in her dimples because she smiles so big and her dimples get so deep! But smiles were not a thing on her agenda this morning. So, just so you know, she really isn't mad, although she may look it. Full and satisfied. Really!

Little Miss Bright Eyes. She *loves* to look you right in the eye. When I nurse her, I have to cover her eyes with a blanket because she'll get too distracted with me and won't eat - she just wants to coo and smile!

Still very tiny, but is growing out of newborn clothes now! Her Tinyness just tickles me!

I just can't resist Tiny Toes...

She hated this pose, so that's why there's only one like it. Wasn't my original idea anyway, that's probably why she hated it.

Practicing her push-ups.

Yes, the grass really is green here! Amazing, I know! 'Course editing can make it look a little greener...

I love this picture - Zoe just came up and was loving on her.

Go away, bad kitty! BOO! (and there you have a view of my photo prop )

"Hi-ya there, mommy. Are we done yet?"

I think this is one of my favorites...

Lovely Olivia... You are so precious.

You know those moments with your child when you think, "Stop! Freeze! Let time be still! Let me hold this moment in my heart forever!" ? Yeah. I 've had quite a few of those lately.

It feels like we have settled in a routine with our new little person, and life is just so, well, sweet, right now.

Kids were happy, so we ran out the door this morning and took some quick snapshots.

Zoe, age two.

The Fairy Princess.

She's all into the "princess" thing lately. On her birthday I told her she was a princess. When Ben had a birthday a week and a half later, she told me, "Daddy a princess!" So this morning, I told her she is a princess, and she really liked that. Perhaps that's why she allowed me to take pictures, instead of just running away giggling like she normally does... We actually had fun this time, unlike some photo shoots...

[these first ones are my personal favorites]

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Her hair is really rather straight, but when she's outside or in humidity, it'll do this little curl thing on the bottom...

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With her precious "titty tats". She will play outside with them for hours at a time!

Feedback desired. These will be her 2-Year Old Pictures, I think...

Not sure how to title this post. This was the best thing I could come up with, in a short nutshell.

This is something I do not feel qualified to write about, but it's been so huge to me the past month and a half, and I felt that I should share it. This is something I've been thinking about as I go throughout my days, and it has brought a new meaning to my life and my world. At the same time, I feel that I have so much growth to do in this area, and many times throughout the day I cry out to God to "Help me! I'm failing again!"

This "something" is a newer concept to me that I sum up as "Living Worship."

I've always struggled to know what "worship" really is. Is it that time inbetween Sunday School and the main service called "worship"? Is it personal quiet time and Bible reading? Is it gazing at nature and being in awe of God's creation?

Yes, to all the above. But I'm seeing that it's so much more as well.

I was introduced to this concept by two different sources at about the same time. One, a sermon I heard while we were in PA in June. And two, a little book my mom gave me to read entitled The Invisible Woman.

It's based on the verse in Romans 12:1, where Paul says, "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service."

I've heard that verse a hundred times, and it just never really "clicked" with me until recently.

It's the idea of our bodies worshipping God. Not just our emotions [although God wants that too]. Not just our minds [although God wants our intelligence].

In the book I mentioned, it was said that at the time the grand European cathedrals were built, many of the builders and workers were townspeople. But there were monks who also helping to build. These monks did it not just as physical labor itself, but they viewed manual labor as a form of prayer.

Wow. I had to reread that several times in the book. What an amazing concept!

To quote the book, "In other words, they decided it might actually be holy to get their hands dirty for God. They prayed with their tools and skills...

"One particularly moving story told of a prominent man who went to visit a cathedral that was being built. He stopped to watch one of the workers, perhaps a monk. He saw the worker carving a tiny bird into the inside of a beam that would eventually be covered over by the stone roof. The man asked the worker why he was spending so much time and giving so much attention to something that no one would ever see. The builder never looked up. He never stopped carving as he replied, "Because God sees."

"...Years later, Martin Luther urged ordinary people - not just the clergy - to find the same perspective. He told the world that it was not the nature of the work that made it holy. Milking a cow was no less holy than giving an offering. Luther believed that a housewife had as great a calling as a high priest, and that both should perform his or her work as though God alone were watching. Holiness comes from God and from the heart of the person doing the work, not from the work itself..." [end of quote]

In another book by Sheila Walsh, A Love So Big, she says, "The significant key to living a life that is not consumed by fear is to see all of life as worship. C.S. Lewis wrote, "We take steps with God and at every step offer our lives as worship. In the process of worshipping God He communicates His Spirit to us. " If we viewed every moment as an act of worshipping God, how would it change the landscape of our minds and souls?" [end of quote]

My days are filled with manual labor, physically caring for my family in so many different ways... Gone are the days when I could spend hours reading the Word, praying, and doing "spiritual things." I've sometimes felt guilty that I am not able to do that anymore. But this concept is so FREEING to me, because I now see that what I'm doing now, as a wife and mother, is no less spiritual! For all day long, I am worshipping God with my body as I serve my family, and my life is a prayer as I train and love on our children, cook meals for my family, try to keep a clean house and a sense of order, try to be an attractive and loving wife to my husband... What a freeing truth!

There is still that important time of quietness with God, alone. Just Him and me. I feel like I need that more than ever since I have two children. But I'm seeing more than ever before that that is just the beginning of my day with Him!

I paraphrased the beginning of Romans 12:1 and put it by my kitchen sink: "Dedicate your bodies, your physical and manual labor, as a living sacrifice - as worship to God!"

I think of this so much throughout my day...

... as I get up in the morning, give breakfast to my children, start a load of laundry, tidy up the house - this is worship to God!

... as I use the gifts He's given me to  bless my family - this is worship to God!

... when I feel frustrated and angry with my daughter, and cry out to God to help ME so I can help her attitudes - this is worship to God!

... when I make meals for my family - this is worship to God!

... when I willingly give gifts to others and find pleasure in seeing them delighted - this is worship to God!

... when I pull weeds, mow the yard, etc. etc. etc.......

There are SO MANY more things I could list, but YOU fill them in in your mind! What have you found to be worship in your daily lives?

 I've love to hear your thoughts and feedback on this! I hope this will encourage someone like it has encouraged me! And that this truth will change your daily lives from hum-drum to being filled with purpose and meaning!

Be blessed today - as you worship God with your lives, wherever God has placed you this day!

-clarita

Wow. Three years.

… since we sold our city row home, packed all our earthly belongings, and moved south. Moved into a house I had never seen before, on a dirt road, and back in the trees so far we can’t see our neighbors. That was quite an adjustment from living in the city and having our front yard be the sidewalk, where hundreds of people walk just inches from our front windows every day.

…since I left the rolling farm land of Lancaster County and moved to the flatlands of Georgia, where the only thing that grows is pine trees (just kidding. Well, sort of. J )

…since I left the tame farmyard animals of cows and horses to go to the native animals of armadillos, alligators, wild pigs, and snakes.

… since I moved away from everyone I had known and moved to a place where I knew Ben’s family and that was it.

We live only about 10 miles from the nearest town, which is about 30 miles away from the next-nearest town, which is… J So Walmart is nearby, and Kmart, and well, a few little shops in the one-block downtown area and a few more scattered around town, but that’s about it. I was used to having any kind of shopping desirable within 15 miles.

I felt c.u.l.t.u.r.e. s.h.o.c.k. the first few months that I lived here. That was something I was not expecting. I mean, this is still the United States, right?

I remember one of the first times I was running errands in town. I went into the bank to make a transaction, and the teller found out who I was. “Ooooh, ah know Bee-yun!” she gushed, because Ben had worked at his dad’s car wash in town several years before we got married, and learned to know quite a few local people through that. We talked for a bit, and before I left I asked her name. “Tay-nuh” she told me. “Okay, nice to meet you, Tayna!” I said. “No, it’s TAY-nuh,” she said. “Okay, Tayna!” I happened to glance at the name tag that was sitting at her desk. Too late I realized I didn’t even understand when someone told me that her name was Tina. I remember wondering if I have to learn a new language to live here!!

The drawl was only one of the new things about living in the south. Everywhere I went, I felt like I was in another country and totally didn’t fit in! That is probably why I learned to pick up the drawl, if I need to, just so I didn’t feel like such an odd ball every time I went into town! And I used to make such fun of people that move to the south and start talking like that… J

It’s been quite an adventure living here. It’s funny, because now, as I write this, I have to really think about what is so different. I’m much more adjusted to it than I realized I was! I’ve been thinking about this 3 Year Anniversary for a little while though, and thought of a few highlights/experiences/new things about living in the Deep South.

- For a true Southerner, most everything is fried. Fried green tomatoes, fried okra, fried chicken... And smothered in butter. Paula Deen is the epitome of true Southern soul food - I‘ve never eaten at her restaurant but from looking at pictures and her recipes I know that! I can’t say that I’ve adopted this style of cooking, although I enjoy eating it once in a great while!

- For excitement if you’re a teenager: there is “The Strip” [a particular section of a particular road on a particular side of town] where you drive your car, I mean truck, and wave at all the cute girls also riding their cars, I mean trucks. Really!! This actually happened in Ben’s day! I will not say whether or not her participated… J

- Other areas of excitement: mud-bogging, tractor and truck pulls, beauty pageants. I must say something about beauty pageants. I have never, never in all my life, seen so many pageants! There is at least one contest for every age girl from very newborn to Miss America age. Honestly!! The majority of Southern women care very much about their appearance, and the appearance of their too-little-to-care daughters.

- The local newspaper has mainly two sections: news and sports. And no news outside of the county. Read that: county, not country. Oh, except an entire page dedicated to Nascar! Go figure!

- There are Rednecks that are proud as can be about being redneck. Even will differentiate between themselves [who they call classy Redneck] and other “lower-class” redneck. I was wide-eyed when I first heard this from a proud Redneck himself! These Rednecks do not say their “TH’s” and thus words become “dis, der,” and “dat” [this, there, and that].

- Men do not drive cars here. Rarely, rarely, will you see a man behind the wheel of a car. It is just not cool to drive a car! A truck. Yes, a very very big truck. The bigger, the better. And the hugest tires you ever, ever have seen. Some of them look like you need a ladder to climb up into them. Seriously!!

- I think it is safe to say that the majority of people in this town have not traveled south farther than Florida, and north farther than one or two states (this is what Ben tells me). They simply have no reason to travel, because all or most of their family and friends are within several miles of them, right here. Thus, they think they are in Paradise, not realizing there is a whole world to be seen that is not one bit like their town!

- It is very, very rude to answer/address  a person without saying, "Ma'am" or "Sir." This is something children are taught from the time they start talking. And last names are not used when addressing someone. Instead of "Mrs Yoder" I am "Ms. Clarita" and my husband is "Mr. Ben." I don't think I've ever heard anyone being called by their last name.

- I learned to water ski in a lake known to have gators in it! No, I did not see any while we were there, but I know people that have. I was semi-okay being in the water as long as I was rapidly moving. But very very nervous when I was down in the water waiting for the boat to pick me up!!!

- There are two seasons: Summer, and January/February/March. J No, not really. But summertime comes early and lasts late; normally, May through October are really hot months. In the intense heat of June/July/August/September, it’s gets up to 90-100 almost daily, with high humidity. So much humidity that you’ll start sweating at 7:30 in the morning, just from stepping outside the house.

- Most of the local radio stations are Country. There is no classical station to be found. Only one Christian station accessible here. But many Country. Did I mention there are a lot of Country stations here?

-Gardening is very difficult. We have to plan 4 times the amount of fertile northern gardens to get barely a quarter of what they do… So much sand where we’re at. Our driveway is natural sand.

- “Proper” takes on a whole new meaning here. I was in a local salon one day, talking somewhat but mostly listening, very fascinated, to the locals talk. One of the very preppy ladies suddenly announced to everyone there that she “had to tinkle!” Ohhhh, I could just see my mother blush had she been there!!

- Everybody is a friend. Some you’re met, some you haven’t! When I go back north I wonder what everyone’s problem is - they’re just not friendly! Of course the people you know up north are friendly, but here the general public is just nice to each other. Here, there is a lot of “shmooze” - not all of which is sincere I’ve found - but the general idea is to make everyone feel as good as you can! It’s like there is an invisible contest to see who can make each other feel the best about themselves. J It’s quite interesting! Here, if you meet someone’s eye, they will at least acknowledge you with a smile or nod, and it’s not uncommon to chit-chat with a total stranger you meet on the street or in the grocery isle.

But sometimes it’s not as nice as you might hope. I had an experience a little while ago at a shop in town where I was looking at a go-away bag for Zoe. The lady gave me a price about something, all the while gushing and calling me “sweetie” and “darlin’” and all sorts of things, and told me that she is waaayyyy cheaper than another store where she buys them from (and named that store in TN). Little did she know I was going to that very area of TN the next weekend, and that was why I needed a bag! I ended up buying the bag simply because I needed one, but checked out that store when I was in TN. I was chagrined to see a much cheaper price than what I had bought for! And very chagrined to realized she had straight-out lied to me! In the north, there is not so much gush and goo, but my experiences there were that people were at least honest and straight-forward.

- These Southern women can. gush. over. babies like you have never seen! In the north, you’ll often be met by a friendly, “Ohhhh, how sweet!” Down here, it’s a, “Looooook at the baybay! Her is sooooo precious! Yes, her is! Her is so SWATE!! [sweet]” and on and on, using terrible grammar reserved only for talking to babies. J Oh, and after being indignant several times over my baby being called this particular thing, I learned that it is actually a compliment (!!) for a baby to be called a “buggar”. Yes, really!

- I think the Civil War is still going on down here. I don’t like to tell people I’m a Yankee. J Confederate flags still fly freely, and there is still a a lot of racism going on…

-There is some Southern lingo that I had to learn when I first met Ben. I remember once when he was visiting when we were dating, and my whole family was seated at the dinner table. Ben was talking and started with, “One time when I was coming up…” and proceeded to tell the story. My whole family, including me, was lost. “Coming up where??” someone finally asked, because he never said his destination. Ben burst out laughing, and said that “coming up” is a term used in the south meaning, “growing up.” It doesn’t mean you’re going north somewhere!

Another time I heard someone describe a person as a “sorry man.” I thought that meant the man was apologetic. I learned later that really means that a man is a pathetic case, or without much character to show for!

Another term used frequently is “along and along.” Up north we would say “little by little” or “as we can.” Example: Mr. Smith is fixing up his house along and along.

Your ego could grow pretty fast here! Everyone calls each other “sweetheart” and “darling” and “baby” and “doll” - even if you don’t know each other. The cashier at the grocery store will call an old gentleman “sweetheart” and he’ll respond back by calling her “baby” or some such thing. This was a NEW thing for me down here, and I was not sure how to respond to all these gushy people! Older men in particular can be very “sweet on you”.

Sooo, three years later, I find myself feeling rather at home in the midst of all this! Yes, it’s taken a while, and Pennsylvania still feels like home to me too. But this has been quite an adventure, a rich experience to live here. I feel that I am bettered for it, and I am privileged to call many people true friends… I can laugh at some of my experiences rather than feel frustrated and out of place. I feel that I am still learning, because there are still some things that amaze me, but I think (most times!) I can take it with humor now instead of a bug-eyed where-am-I feeling!

How to end a post like this? Not sure. Except to say that no matter where life takes me, I will be grateful for this experience…

 Y’all!  have a great day J

-clarita

My daughter is TWO! How can that be?! Sometimes I stop and wonder if this is really *me* that has two children, and the oldest one is two! My life just amazes me sometimes!

For Zoe's birthday this year, we decided to just spend a family day together. We have been rather busy, Ben has been working 6 days a week, and family times haven't been very frequent. So, in lieu of a party, we had a family day at the beach!

Her day started early - at 6:30, but she was far too grouchy to remain awake, so after breakfast I tucked her back in bed for another hour or two. She awoke in a much better state of mind, and was delighted when I put candles in her pancakes and sang "happy birthday" to her several times! She then started singing "happy birthday to zoe!" and just giggled when doing so! I don't think she really understood what was going on, but whatever it was, she liked all the special attention!

Soon after she got up, I told her that we were going to the beach that day! Zoe' absolutely  loves  the ocean, and was just thrilled! It took us a bit to get out the door - just getting out the house is a bigger deal these days because the baby first has to be fed, the lunch has to be packed, the sunscreen and chairs and drinks and snacks and lunch and stroller and beach towels and sand toys need to be loaded in the car (whew!), then both babies are loaded in, and finally - we're off!

After a quick stop at Target to pick up a few necessities (I think it was necessities. Sometimes I make up "necessities" just as an excuse to go to Target because I hardly ever go that hour distance!), we picked Ben up who had been working half a day close to the islands.

A picnic lunch at a park just a short distance away from the ocean... I think she liked this almost as much at the beach itself!

looking up through the big oak tree above the picnic table

Zoe' is so difficult to photograph. She is very photogenic, if she's in the mood. But most times when she sees the camera she runs away giggling! Most of these pictures were taken playing peek-a-boo or some such thing!

Fun-loving mischievous girlie!

Then on to the ocean! The waves were a bit bigger than normal, but normally there are hardly any waves at all because the beach is so gradual. So it was still great to play in, and she was able to "jump" the waves with daddy's help!

I love my little big girl!

She didn't even seem to mind the salt water in her face. I was surprised at her!

Baby Olivia in the stroller. She did really well to be on the beach several hours. See those little chubby cheeks she's getting? Still a tiny baby, but filling out a little bit!

Yes, he does have a farmer's tan. But it doesn't affect his daddy skills one bit! :) He was wearing a hat because he had been outside a few days before and his poor head got fried!

After several hours of playing hard, Zoe' was tuckered out! She fell asleep when we went on a little walk...

Pizza and cupcakes were the menu when we got home late that evening! I had great visions of darling pink cupcakes, but um, they didn't turn out very well. And they tasted terrible.  I made a white cupcake recipe from Taste of Home, and put coloring in to make them pink, but it was nothing worth repeating! So, Zoe enjoyed her one with the candles, but that was the end of that!

And a bowl of ice cream to finish off the little party!

Zoe' doesn't like being two. She can hardly hold up the two fingers, and then becomes frustrated and says, "No! One!" Yeah, I know other people that want to deny their age too...

At Two:

... Zoe' is talking and talking and talking. She is such chatterbox, and is one of those children that *needs* to tell her mommy every thought in her mind at every waking moment. So far it's not gotten annoying because it's so cute! She's starting to come up with such fun little saying that just crack me up and we just laugh and laugh together! She has a sweet little lisp so I can understand her most times, but other people don't always know what she's saying.

   The other day I asked her if she needed to go potty. "I don't think so. I'm fine." She responded nonchalantly and plain as day. Oh excuse me! Perhaps I should have asked if she needed to use the ladies' room, as grown-up as she responded!

   Another time she was playing on the couch and fell off the side. "Zoe has ouchie! It's BAD!" She told me! I was trying to comfort her but just started laughing at her so much that she stopped crying and was laughing too! I think she will be dramatic like her Barkman aunties...

... She is ridiculously passionate about horses. No, we are not re-doing her room in horse wall-paper, although I'm sure she'd be thrilled! She has several horse books, play horses, and now a stick horse from Grandma for her birthday.

... Curious George is her favorite character. We have several big Curious George books and she will literally spend hours a day looking through them! Grandma Yoder gave her a monkey backpack for her birthday and she wants that on her every hour of the day! So cute!

... She is now the owner of two kittens! That was Ben and my gift to her for her birthday, and between them and entertaining them with kitty toys sent from Papa and Nana for her birthday, the Curious George books, and her horses, she is busy from morning to night! I heard her yesterday when she was feeding the kitties, "Pray! Titty tat! Pray!" ))

... Zoe' loves a particular book called "Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes" and we read from it almost every day. The other day it was left in the car that Ben took to work, and she walked around in the morning saying, "Where's Jesus??" while looking for it! It was so precious!!

- Her hair is finally growing out! Her almost-hairless stage lasted quite a while, and although it's still wispy, it's coming in very well and looks darling! It's gotten so sun-bleached this summer and is almost white right now!

- Still has the chubby baby fat cheeks that jiggle when she runs! I'll be sad when she looses that!

- LOVES to help. It's very precious, she'll run up to me and say, "Zoe' help! Zoe' help!" whether it's getting laundry off the line, folding washclothes, making supper, wiping up the kitchen floor... I must have patience with her, because if I don't she will soon loose the mentality that work is fun! Then when she's 10 I'll wonder why she doesn't want to help me! I must keep sight of the end goal - working together one day, and one day life will be more efficient! For now, this is the training stage...

And that's our little two year old!

Zoe' Grace - I just love being your mommy!

I'm sitting in the kitchen with Zoe' on a lazy Saturday... Ben is working today, so we're allowing ourselves to just relax!

Zoe stories:

-Zoe has learned to use the word, "too," and tacks it onto almost anything she says. "Zoe eat 'nola (granola) TOO." "Mommy sit here TOO." So now she's eating "'nola TOO" while mommy "sits here TOO."

-Zoe's version of Bible Stories. Feeding of the Five Thousand: "Peoples eat fish and toast!" (toast is her favorite thing)". Baby Moses hidden in a basket: "Mosee in boat in pool!"

-Reading a book to herself, sees a picture of a snake. "OOOOH! Snake GET Zoe! Snake EAT Zoe!" Looks at me and laughs because she knows that's not what the books says. She has quite the imagination!

Last night Ben was putting Zoe to bed while I was changing the baby in the same room. In a moment of murmured prayer voicing the need of God we both feel so much these days, Ben said aloud, "God, how are we able to raise these children?" Zoe was sitting on his lap, and even though he wasn't talking to her, responded emphatically, "Yeah... YES MA'AM!!" Ben and I both laughed so so hard! It's been a few long days for us, or rather I should say long *nights* with Zoe, but this was such a dear moment! Seemed as though Zoe knew exactly what he was talking about, and thought too that we needed help from above! She  crack me up!

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My lovely sisters on Queen Street!

I think they are all so beautiful! Whenever I'm around them, I feel like the ugly duckling! But they're all so sweet, I can't feel inferior!

I wish we could've gotten all four of us together...

This looked like a paparazzi shot of Ervina.

Breakfast at Rachels...

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I was telling Ben this week that the 8 weeks since the baby is born has seemed like a blur to me. I look back on them and it all looks hazy, crazy, and tired. The baby has been sleeping through the night for several weeks already - something done completely on her own! I'm not good at letting babies cry through the night, it just tugs too hard and I feel so sorry for them! So this sleeping 6-8 hours is completely on her own! And I'm so thankful!

Olivia had been semi-colicky for several weeks. Nights were great, but during the day it wasn't unusual if she'd only sleep an hour. Total. And she cried a lot of her waking time. At first holding her would calm her down, but then that didn't even help. I didn't know *what* to do! I tried to be careful what I ate, but that didn't make a difference. While we were in Pennsylvania a friend told us she took her partially-colic baby for cranial treatments, and that seemed to help her. We were able to get an appointment, and although it was just one time, it has made a HUGE difference in her! She seems like a different baby now! Happy so much of the time, and will now just smile and smile instead of cry and cry!

The specialists who treated Olivia thought her problem came from the 50-hour labor, when with each contraction her head and body were pushed diagonal instead of vertex, thus putting a lot of pressure on her neck and head. It may or may not have been that, but the massage treatment they gave her has given me a relaxed baby!! I am SO thankful!!

Zoe, on the other hand, has turned into a waking-up-every-few-hours infant. Not sure why - if we knew we'd try to solve the problem immediately! One night I was up with her at least 10 times. The following night I slept in the guest room with her so I would at least be right with her when she woke up, rather than going back and forth from our room to hers, but that didn't even make a diffierence for her. Last night was slightly better.

But need I even *say* that when you don't have more than 45 minutes to an hour of uninterrupted sleep at a time  all night You. Feel. Exhausted. So my days have been just trying to stay afloat amid the oceans of laundry and housework and meals. It's been an exhausting time. Probably why the past 8 weeks seem like a blur.

In the midst of all that though, it somehow feels like we're coming to a new normal. Most days I don't feel totally overwhelmed, as I did at first. I really wondered how in the world I was going to do this the first few weeks - be a mother to two children one and under! I still have some days like that, especially when the nights are bad, but most days are enjoyable and filled with smiles.

my two precious daughters! how can it that i am a mother to two children???

I keep being reminded of how blessed we truly are though. Yes, we have sleepless nights and times of tears of exhaustion, but we are healthy, we are all alive, we love each other dearly! And THAT is a lot to be thankful for. And something I need to keep being reminded of in the midst of overwhelming days!

m little dandelion seed, as i call her on mornings like this!

Olivia is growing. Not by leaps and bounds, but by little bitty ounces. I just love her tiny-ness! So opposite from what Zoe was like at a baby. At 8 weeks, Olivia weighs in at 9 tiny pounds. At 8 weeks, Zoe weighed in around 12 big pounds. They are as different as could be, even in their physical features, and I love it! Just amazes me at the same time at how unique they both are.

Olivia, despite her small size, seems as though she's already more agressive than Zoe was at this age. At 5 weeks I found her scooted about one foot forward on the bed where I had laid her. The same week I went in to check on her and she had moved forward and sideways about 6 inches each way, found her pacifier in the upper corner of her cradle, and was sucking on it! My mouth almost dropped to the floor - had my jaw been mobile enough, I'm sure it would have! And Zoe was spending the day with Grandma Yoder, otherwise I would have been sure Zoe was playing with her! So it's already not safe to leave her on high surfaces alone... 

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The following pictures are from a lovely week in Pennsylvania - already three weeks ago! WHERE does time go??! The week was absolutely wonderful... I always forget how beautiful beautiful beautiful Lancaster County is. The grass is a lush carpet with no fear of fire ants, the weather splendid and perfect without gnats and mosquitoes determined to eat you alive. And even more than that - the family we were with and people we were able to see was just delightful! Even though it was a week, we didn't get to see nearly everyone that we wanted to. After not going home for 6 months, it was just not enough of time to be able to see everyone, but therefore even more disappointing NOT to be able to!

The girls' trunks for the trip. Found them at a local antique/junk shop and they worked so well!

Three Generations! These moments together were so special! Wailing Olivia didn't think so though!

Claudia was gone for part of the week we were there, and we missed her dreadfully!
Lunch at Panera Bread one day inbetween Banana Republic and Salvation Army (my two favorite stores!)

Love this adoring look on Zoe's face! Papa is her hero!

Handsome brother James! I really like this picture of him!

Youngest brother David. I also really like this picture!

Lovely Jana! Very typical picture of her! She is one amazing photographer, I'm bashful to show her any of the pictures *I* take!

Lovely Ervina! One week with you was not long enough!

my cousin, chloe, who is two years older than zoe! zoe just loved playing with her, and chloe was so kind to her!

aunt beth meeting olivia for the first time!

jana and beth meeting olivia!

One of the reasons for our trip to PA was my sister Claudia's graduation from high school! It was a beautiful event, and a perfect day! She gave a splendid speech, I was so proud of her!

"HEY! Zoe's eating my graduation gift!" We had bought Claudia this gigantic lollipop as a part of her grad gift and Zoe kept her eyes peeled for chance to get at it!

I thought this was so cute - her programs in a vintage chest!

Programs.

Zoe with Papa

Some of the young gents

My dad offered Ben work for a week, which was the reason we were able to stay more than a weekend. I was *thrilled* for a chance to stay longer than expected! We were able to spend a lot of time with my family, and also were able to see Ben's family and some of our friends during our stay there, which otherwise would not have happened in a 2-day weekend!

Spent a lovely, wonderful evening with Wendall and Mary Jo! We used to do so much with them when we lived in Pennsylvania, and I miss them so much! She always makes and serves wonderful food and it looks so beautiful too! Chris and Beth were there as well - loved with being every one of you!

Crepes with Bananas Foster. THEE most amazing dessert made by Mary Jo!

Mariana and Zoe

Darling Josie!

They all took a bath together before we left. So cute!

Got to spend a lovely few hours with my dear friend Bek! We met each other's newest babies, and were amazed at how the others grew so much in the past 6 months!

We thought the kids would play in the pool, but they ended up being in the playhouse most of the time! It was so cute to see them play together!

Zoe and Brooklynn

Also were able to spend an evening with our dear friends, Phil and Shelly. Deitrich and Zoe are 4 days apart (I was due before Shelly but she had her baby early and I was late, so therefore Deitrich is older. She won't let me forget that one!

One of the highlights of the trip was being able to tour my friend and mom's cousin, Janelle's, house one morning, and spend some time with her and her darling three children! Her house should truly grace an issue of the Victoria magazine, just charming as can be! And I didn't get any pictures of it! I was so disappointed!

Another special evening spent with Mark and Ruth! A delicious meal on the patio, with dear dear friends!

Not having the time to do a long, lengthy article of our lives (as I did the last post!), this is just little tid-bits of this and that... collected and written over the past few weeks.

-Life with a Family of Four. It's grand. It's crazy. It's wonderful. It's busy. It's not OnE oF tHoSe DaYs everyday [thank God!].

-Thank you so much for all your ideas and tips on the last post. I do have a stroller AND a sling, and for some reason it never crossed my mind to use either one that day. I shall definitely remember that for all shopping trips forthwith!!

-Zoe was walking around singing, "Happy, happy, happy!"  one evening, which she only does if her little soul is just delighted with life. "Sweets!" I said, "Are you just so happy?" "Yes, Ma'am!"  she replied [something we've been working on, the ma'am and sir] which comes out sounding like "Yes, Sam!"

- I was very blessed by a comment from the previous post which reminded me that this stage with my children is not the "perfect stage."  This is the "training stage", and they are learning. I must not expect perfection or performance, lest I become frustrated with them and myself. That was what I needed to hear right now.

-Zoe' loves playing with Baby Leah [what she calls her because she can't say "Olivia" and probably because she hears all the Southerners say, "Oh-LEE-vee-uh!] and I've found her doing this a few times: "Dis lil' piggy... weeeeee weeeeeee weeeee!" complete with motions and tickles on the baby toes.

-Once when Ben was wiping Zoe' after a meal, she looked up at him and said, "Daddy's Zoe!" Of course that melted him like butter, and he picked her up in a big hug. He melted even more when she returned his squeeze with all her might!

- Sometimes there have been tears at midnight when I'd been up since 6 am with no nap, and babies wouldn't settle long into the night...

- Zoe' loves to play piano, and she'll often play and sing at the same time. Sometimes we sing and play together. But I heard her singing by herself last week, as she was "playing" piano as well, singing, "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" Absolutely precious...

- I have been told that this is probably the most challenging time of life - as far as my life as a mother. Having two little children close together is a lot of work, but I've heard that is actually does become easier - even with more children! This is prpbably completely dependant on each situation, but the older children then entertain each other, instead of all the children being too young to help and still needing a lot of attention. That is encouraging to me!

- I took the baby from Ben one night, to put her to bed after giving Zoe' a bath, and was surprised at her mouth. "Babes!" I said, "Her mouth is sticky! That's so strange!" "What? Huh?" questioned my "innocent" husband, doing his best to put on an I'm-not-the-culprit-look. I looked at his quizzically. "Well, actually," he started grinning, "I put honey on her pacifier. And it really worked! She loved it!" "WHAT?" I gasped. "Honey can make babies die!!" Apparently he had not known that or else it would not have happened, but now whenever she cries he kidds me about honey on her pacifier. 

- Zoe' loves her "monkey book" as she calls Curious George, and spends most of her waking hours looking at that book and playing with her "tissies" [horses] that we bought her at an auction.

-Daily beginning: load of laundry washed and hung out to dry

-Outing this week to the chiropractor, Target, then on to the ocean! This time I was fully equipped with stroller and sling, and it went very well!

- Woke up one Monday morning to realize that about $500 worth of tools were stolen out of our garage over the weekend. Ben's tools that he uses daily to work with, and some other ones that he had literally saved for years to buy. He had to go buy tools so he could work that day! I felt so bad for him, it felt like a pretty big loss.

- Olivia's dimples are worth paying money to see. Just two big darling dimples. I would never have imagined! She smiles so readily after she eats and her dimples come out in full glory.

-After stepping out the door one morning, I went back inside and saw that Zoe' had gotten up and was starting her day very happily. A little while later, I realized I couldn't find a few dollars and coins that I had put aside to pay Mama Yoder back for things she had bought for me. Several hours later I realized Zoe had thrown the money in the trash, and the coins in her piggy bank. Go figure - coins are money, dollar bills are paper trash.

-Lots of canning/freezing already. Not good timing with a newborn baby, but it's how the season went so we ride with it. Corn; tomatoes: diced, juiced, salsa, pizza sauce;  blueberries, zucchini into relish and also shredded for the freezer; cucumbers into pickles...

- I was preparing supper one night, anticipating a delicious meal including Grilled Bruschetta Chicken and zucchini casserole. As I was slicing the zucchini on the Pampered Chef DNA Sampler (not really, but their hand-slicer/grater/shredder), I didn't realize my finger was down close to the blade and I sliced off a corner of my finger. I am not very good around blood, I wish I was, but I really am not. I have fainted several times over gory situations. And I was afraid I would this time as well. But fainting did not seem like an option, because I had the baby in a sling around the front of me, and fainting would be damaging to her. Plus I had a wide-eyed little one-year old watching me with a terrified expression on her face as the blood was dripping off my hand. So, I bandaged it up as good as I could and laid on the couch so I wouldn't faint until Ben came home. Poor man, no supper was ready that night... and we had egg sandwiches later.

...Or the next night, for that matter. I was preparing the very same meal mentioned above, when I opened a door right onto Zoe's toe, not realizing she was on the opposite side of the door. It ripped her big toenail off, and the poor child was in so much pain. I was nearly weeping myself, and while trying to take care of her, the baby started wailing for lack of attention. And that is the scene that greeted Ben upon his return home. And upon hugging his wife, she promptly burst into tears as well. Supper was served. Much later.

-Several days after this, Zoe stepped in almost invisible ant bed, and almost instantly had about 50 bites on her legs. A day later, she pinched her finger terribly in the car door. Must I even say I asked Ben to start praying a hedge of protection around us??

- Zoe has eagerly devoured sweet corn this year, really her first year to eat it on the cob. Her record is 3 ears of corn for breakfast, and  4 for supper. "Another funny day in the life of a parent," says Ben. I agree!

- Ben and I celebrated 4 years together yesterday! It's been the most wonderful, the most stretching time of my life, and I am so thankful and blessed to be married to him! We have been very busy lately this week and so hope to celebrate a bit more later.

.......and that's been life the past few weeks!

The day started out fine. It really did.

Zoe was up soon after 6am, and declared vehemently that she was so hungry. So I fed her breakfast and ate breakfast myself. And was I ever delighted when she actually told me she was still tired and wanted to go back to bed. I guess she really was as hungry as she said she was, and that was what woke her up so early. Although 7-ish is when she has been waking up, and staying up for good.

So back to bed she went, and by then the baby was awake and hungry as well, so off to bed we went too, to feed the baby in a more relaxing position. Whereupon we both fell asleep and it was quite the restful morning...

So restful, in fact, that I decided we would make a trip to town on this wonderful day. I had a gift that I needed to return, as well as another birthday gift to purchase. One store, two kids, one mom. This would be a breeze. Zoe was so happy to be going away and I was perfectly confident in her continued happiness.

Getting all of us out the door took a bit of time. I still haven't learned that it takes so much longer to get ready to go anywhere with a little baby, especially trying to work around her eating schedule. Zoe didn't need to go potty, so all was good. I dressed us all us, good and proper. Not Sunday outfits, but you know, dressed up. That way if things went downhill rapidly we wouldn't look completely disgraceful.

And off we went, a happy little family. On the way in, we passed Bealls Outlet (that and Cato are our only clothing stores for an hour around). Now, I'm not really a Bealls Outlet fan. I shop there about twice a year. But I hadn't been out of the house shopping in weeks, and I thought that we'll probably hit that store on the way back home, since my destination was Cato. Oh, and maybe we'll go to the little consignment store in town too, and see what they have...

Zoe was thinking food. "Donut shop!" Donut shop!" she kept chanting the whole 15 miles in to town. Oh dear. I think I took her there too many times when I was pregnant and had donut cravings. Well, maybe we'll stop there on the way back too, I thought, although I didn't promise. She's too young to understand future tense happenings, so I would only have made life more difficult for both of us if I had promised but not gone immediately. Thankfully. Or else I probably would have promised.

So to Cato we went. Carseat in one hand, with the baby who had fallen asleep. Zoe in the other hand. The "other hand" proved to be a challenge from the start, because how do you hold a carseat in one hand, a purse over the shoulder, plus a one year old in the other hand, and still try to shop?? Tell me if you can. There must be a trick to it.

I soon realized that this shopping trip was not the best idea, and that I had to make fast tracks. So Zoe was let loose, and given firm instructions to "stay close to mommy." I don't know what naughty streak entered that child, but she thought she was given free reign throughout the store. As she saw me browse through racks, she "browsed" herself, pulling hangers off the racks and carting the item through the aisles.

I felt like all I was doing was running after her, making sure she returned each item. How is one supposed to do any shopping with this kind of system?? The only kind of disciplining I could do in public was stern talking, and that wasn't working very well. Finally, she started following me a bit more closely and I pulled a few different clothing items together for my intended gifts.

That was when I noticed shoes where they weren't supposed to be, and the named one year old right beside them, pulling  more  boxes of shoes out with the intention of opening the contents. That was quickly stopped, the shoes returned, and once again we tried to shop for the gifts a bit more.

I wished with all my heart for a shopping cart. Didn't these stores realize they weren't going to get business from the mommy class if they couldn't even bring their kids and keep them all in one place??

And that was when I rounded the corner and saw the said one year old girl pull an entire stack of shirts off the shelf and onto the floor, while reaching for another stack. This mother made fast tracks, disciplined in a way that was a bit more than stern talking, and decided it was time to leave.

By this time I was feeling like I would have been the next case study for the Pearl's "No Greater Joy" magazine...

That was when I saw her reach up by the register and pull off several boxes of fragile perfume bottles... Okay, this is not going so well!! Whatever happened to my obedient child?? I wondered in agony.

We walked to the checkout counter, Zoe, the baby, and me. Zoe was crying because she wanted to look at the colorful jewelry about 10 feet away. Knowing her record the past 10 minutes in the store, I wasn't about to let her go that far, especially not with jewelry in sight. So the car seat was placed on the floor, the one year old's hand was firmly clasped in mine.

The item was returned, and one clothing item rung up. When I went to pay for it, I had to release the hand of the one year old. The transaction took only seconds, but when it was over Zoe was no where in sight. I opened my mouth to call her, and before I could get a word out the saleslady quickly volunteered, "She went that way!"

Oh, great. Now the salespeople are nervous and keeping a watchful eye on my child. That only makes things worse. Seems like children always act worse when more people are watching them. So much for dressing up to make a good impression. They probably thought we're a rich, spoiled family. They couldn't have been more wrong.

So I went "that way" and found her, I don't remember where. Shoes? Jewelry? Brain doesn't remember anymore. Point is that I found her, and out the door we went. Whew. Shopping mission accomplished. Whoever knew it would be so much work to purchase one little shirt and return another??

Baby was waking up and very hungry. It had been three hours since she last ate, and that's long for her.

As I was buckling Zoe in her seat, I remembered that she hadn't gone potty for a while, and asked her if she needed to go. No, she said she didn't, and I was gullible enough to believe her. Because I hadn't even put the car in reverse before I saw that she had totally peed herself right then and there.

I was not a happy mama. My patience was already tried to the max, but there was nothing I could do. Her skirt was soaked as well. But thank God for Piddle Pads from BabiesRUs, so at least the entire car seat didn't get soaked.

We were homeward bound. No donut shop. No Bealls Outlet. No consignment store. We were done. We were done for weeks, as far as I was concerned!

The baby wailed most of the way home, but with Zoe's peed condition, I decided to keep going and feed the baby at home. Zoe kept giggling at me in the mirror, while I kept giving her stern looks and trying to explain why she needs to tell mommy if she needs to go potty. Finally I realized I was making things worse for both of us and I couldn't keep trying to punish her by putting her on a guilt trip. Guilt trips are really not how I want to discipline my children, although that sure was what I felt like doing in that moment.

And I decided right then and there that there really is something to the "Keepers at Home" theory. It really is best for a mother with two children ages one and under to stay at home.

Home. Undies changed. Lunch eaten. Nap time!

It's after that that my mind starts getting foggy... However, I do remember another "accident", which was really not an accident at all, on the couch before supper. And another "accident", which was not an accident at either, on the other couch after supper.

And I remember telling Ben that we seriously have child-training issues!! As well as dissolving into tears when he said, "Babes, you sound like you're having a rough day." And I wailed in return, "But you've said that almost every day this week!!"

Somewhere around midnight I fell asleep. I awoke this morning, after several night-time feedings to Baby, to hear Zoe beside me, and opened my eyes to see her waving a wet toilet bowl brush in front of my face.

Yes. That really happened.

This is the impish little girl that challenges and delights my days! And she is every bit as mischievous as she looks.

Oh, it's just OnE oF tHoSe DaYs!