September 10, 2010

  • Dear Husband, Please Come Home.


    This is one day where, if it were possible, I would call Husband and ask if he could please come home from work at 10am, while I go and hibernate the rest of the day. Perhaps make the one hour drive to the nearest coffee shop and sit there. Maybe finishing my book, Cry, the Beloved Country and feeling like I’m really expanding my mommy brain. Something beyond child-training and husband/wife relationships. Which is good in its place, but somehow doesn’t feel very mind-stretching. I want to think outside of my world sometimes.

    Not that I have a bad life. No, not at all. I really do love my life. Really.

    But as we are all human beings, and as rather young human beings can be rather hard on a bit older human beings (read: children are unnerving mother), let’s just say that today is one of those days.

    At the moment, life is quiet. Both girls are in bed for afternoon naps. I am sitting on the couch, still in pajamas (is that part of my problem, that I never truly started my day?), with a delicious broiled sandwich and a murky glass of lemonade. The murkiness is due to a certain 3-year old who was helping me in the kitchen one day during a baking project. And was mixing sugar into the flour container and flour into the sugar container. And as you well know, I’m sure, that sugar and flour are nigh to impossible to separate, I now have flour as well as sugar in my lemonade. Thus the reason for the murkiness.

    This morning: not so quiet. The girls are beginning to have “sisterly competition,” to put it mildly. Let’s just say that big sister and little sister aren’t having such good days with each other, which can result in not-so-good days for mother as well. Little sister seems to be the main culprit, and loves to tease big sister to the point of tears. This morning was the occassion of many such tears. And at one point, having had enough, big sister pulled little sister off the couch by her feet, resulting in little sister landing squarely on her head, wailing loudly. Well, I would wail loudly too, if I were her.

     I, the ever-wise mother (please read that very sarcastically) promptly rapped big sister on the head so she caught a small taste of what she did to little sister. Which was really a very bad idea, because then they were both wailing at the very same time. Well, I would wail loudly too, if my mother had just rapped me on the head. That was definitely not the love and tenderness of Jesus coming out just then.

    And that was just a small glimpse of this morning.

    Yesterday morning a bowl of cereal exploded in the kitchen, after someone accidentally dropped the honey bear into it from 2 feet above. I thanked the Lord that Zoe had vehemently requested a PLASTIC cereal bowl that morning, or else we would have shattered glass amongst the milk and granola that had landed up to 8 feet above the floor level, and spread in a 8 foot radius around my previously sparkling kitchen. Oh, and landing in my hair and eyebrows and face.

    Oh, and did I mention the someone was not my daughter? No, it was, in fact, myself.

    This house is full of imperfect people today.

    I’m just so glad my PERFECT husband is coming home in a few hours! And will be home for the weekend!

    Dear Husband, I’m so glad you’re the kind of man that I know will always come home to us…

    And yet, in the midst of days that seem like “bad days” like this, I’m reminded of how precious life is, the lives of children who can have me so exasperated one moment and laughing the next.

    With living across the street from the best children’s park in town,  both of the girls frequently ask to go and play there. Well, Olivia points and jabbers incoherently. But they both love to go.

    On Saturday, when I was outside with both of them, Zoe frantically yelled at me, “OLIVIA’S ON THE ROAD!!!” I look over from working in the flower beds not far away to see her completely crossing the street BEFORE MY VERY EYES.

    I raced over to her, as fast as my legs in go in a dream-like state, where you want to run so badly but just can’t quite go fast enough, and scooped her up. Holding her tight as I could. Realizing that on our street, with a lot of fast through-traffic, I might not have ever held her again if…. Heart pounding. Mind racing.

    I had nightmares all night and weekend about that incident. Waking up and seeing visions of things that didn’t happen, but could have happened. Realizing that on Sunday, instead of having people over for lunch as planned, we could have been planning a funeral. Sounds terribly morbid, I know, but I would wake up with a jerk thinking of what could have happened…

    And I’m reminded once again of God’s Sovereignty, and am so thankful that He protected the life of our little girl. He would not have had to, but He did. And I am so grateful…

    So today, I’m reminded of how sacred it is to hold them in my arms and rock them, singing lullabyes… Even though some days it feels like all we do is climb walls and write on white pillows with pencils and colored chalk. Today is sacred.

    Even so, Dear Husband, I can’t wait until you come home…




Comments (25)

  • I’m laughing, while at the same time feeling your pain.  On days like this I am so happy at 2 different times: when husband comes home from work and when its bedtime for the little one.  Oh, wouldn’t our lives be so boring without children? ;)

  • Oh, it’s good to hear about your ‘human-ness’ down there in your beautiful little cottage . . . ’cause it sure is evident here in my house too. My little people are both asleep at the moment too, and they’re happy to be exploring their own home and toys again today after being gone for a week, but STILL, we have those moments!! (And yesterday’s final-leg-of-the-journey home was about more than a grouchy daughter and her parents could handle!) It’s kind of like my BIL (who doesn’t have children yet) said over the weekend, “You forget [after not being around children for a while] how DRAMATIC their little lives are . . . ” Crying hearts out one moment, laughing the next, supremely happy to earth-shattering sad the next. I agreed. No wonder a mom feels emotionally WORN by the end of the day. Either we ride the ups and downs with them or we try to keep things even-keel . . . and that takes ENERGY! So, much love to you on this Friday afternoon. Review Psalm 103 by yourself and with your girls. It’s soul-alignment and something I’m trying to keep in my mind during those tough moments and days. Love you!!

  • Oh, and GOD BLESS the husbands/daddys for sure who are so faithful in their work and in coming home to us!!

  • @FOREVERLANE - ”No wonder a mom feels so WORN out… because of how dramatic children are!” No kidding! Love that line!! :) And thanks for the Psalm 103. I shall read that… Oh, and I sent you an email this morning about the bookshelf. :)

  • @FOREVERLANE - and you were gone for a week? Where to?

  • I totally understand! Its a mixture of love/endurace sometimes with children.

  • Kansas~to see my sister! I’m looking through my pictures just now and hope to post them very soon. :)

  • @FOREVERLANE - yay! i was wondering why there haven’t been recent posts!

  • so glad to hear that other ppl have “those days” too.  i seem to be having them very often here late.  oh, and about your baby crossing the street…..i totally know what you mean about night mares.  earlier this summer i was swimming at a pond, well, i was just sitting there chatting and having a good time with my friends when i looked up to check on my 3 yr. old.  her life jacket had flipped her on her belly and she was bobbing.  luckily she  was able to pop up for air every know and then.  i DASHED in to the water…flip-flops and clothing on…and grabbed that precious lil’ girl.  the next few nights when i lay in bed all i could see was her head bobbing in the water….shiver!!!  okay, i know you don’t even know me so i hope you don’t mind me going off like this, but i just love reading your blog ’cause i find we have so much in common with 2 little girls.  Have a beautiful day!

  • This is funny (not because you are having a bad day) because at exactly 9:55 this morning I was feeling so sick and THINKING about calling Jeremy and asking him if he could somehow get off early and come home!:) But I didn’t. I’m managing to get through this day and Jeremy will be home in a few hours.
    But yeah… definitely can relate to the feeling that sometimes I just want something I clean to STAY clean. I want my children to GET ALONG and I want life to somehow be a little easier. But easy isn’t usually best… and God is FAITHFUL. Have a great weekend!

  • Oh how I laughed. Which didn’t feel very nice after I did b/c after all, you were having a bad day, not a funny one. But it WAS funny because I could just so relate so very, very well. And that sibling rivalry thing going on ….. I feel guilty even saying this, but my days are so mentally restful since Adam is in school. Because it really does take two to fight. Have a happy weekend!

  • @deansgal - that must have been a TERRIBLE feeling!! And I know about laying there at night and having those shivers…!!

  • @WasabiBek - let’s hang in there a couple more hours, right?! :)

    @smilesbymiles - it DOES take two to fight. So much for me thinking my oldest child is a peacemaker… :)

  • so glad olivia is alive!! wow!! we so take them for granted!! and about the husband coming home-there really isnt anything i look more forward to!! :) so true what shelly said-bless them for being faithful!!

  • I “get” it…every word, and the unspoken thoughts between the words.  It’s a beautiful, amazing, crazy, heart-wrenching, passionate, terrible, wonderful thing – this motherhood.  Maybe if we were a bit more superhero-ish we could just fly over the spilled cereal and tantrum days but then the sweet days, sweet moments, would not be as sweet.  P.S.  Have a great husband filled weekend!

  • aw, poor girl! I can image what I’d feel like after one of those days. Sometimes you just want everyone to go back to bed and wake up again and start all over. So glad God protected little girly! Here’s to hoping you had a better day and have an ever better weekend!

  • Such a cute post!  I think every mom in the whole world can relate to you today!  We’ve all been there…especially the pencils on the white pillows….I HATE that! Anyway, it’s bad days that make great stories to tell! I mean seriously, what else would you have blogged about if your granola hadn’t spilled?!?!? =)  Don’t husbands home just make everything sooo much better?  Hope you have a fabulous weekend! =) 

  • FOREVERLANE said, “Oh, it’s good to hear about your ‘human-ness’ down there in your beautiful little cottage”
    My thoughts exactly!
    Your house is so perfectly beautiful….
    how could there be anything, but complete and perfect bliss!
    But then, that’s just not how life works, is it?!?!
    Funny how we buy into those kind of lies in regard to other people’s lives.

    Hope the next day was better! 

  • Like others said, we can all relate to those things of wanting to climb the walls and pull your hair out. Or rap your kid on the head! I don’t blame you one bit!

    But I like how you brought out about how things could change in an instant and how we just need to remember how lucky we really are.

    You’re cute! The way you write and your looks!

  • @totallycherished - you better believe it – we’ve got quite the humanness going on down here. :)

    @appalolly - it feels really good to know that others can relate. thanks!

  • thanks for this– i`m in the middle of a hugely imperfect day with the girls as we speak!!

  • Love this post, Clarita!!

    And, I feel incredibly ungrateful, as I just recalled yesterday that I never thanked you for those beautiful hair clips that you and Linda made for my baby girl!  Thank you so very much.  Believe me when I say that I have thought of you with grateful thoughts countless times as I put them in her hair.  I loved that idea, and just sat down the other day to make more.  thank you thank you!!

  • soooo get this! and, i cannot tell you how often i think to myself that i do not know how single moms do it! when i look at my 16 year old neighbor girl who is mothering solo, and i look at my squabbling, crying kiddos, my life seems pretty…*perfect*.
    do you honestly sit down to a little quiet lunch regularly? as in…feed the kids, put ‘em down for naps, and then sit and have your little peaceful moment of solitary eating? that thought intrigues me….maybe not every day, but some days, maybe i should take the time to do that for me….so often when it’s mealtime here, i feel like i’m wolfing my food amidst shoveling it into little mouths, and jumping up to get something i forgot, or something they suddenly need….that when the so-called mealtime is over, i wonder if i ate, and if i may be working on an ulcer? not everyday, but maybe once in a while that sort of solitary dining would revive a mothers spirit?

    hoping this day was a little less chaotic for you!
    happy thursday!

  • @foreveranoatneygirl - I actually do have solitary lunch quite regularly. Not often because I plan it that way, because I do sit down with my children when they eat lunch, but inbetween jumping up 20 times during the time that they’re eating and needing things, I don’t often eat myself. But I do like to sit down with them. And later, about 2pm, I feel strangely hungry, and wonder why, because we did eat lunch. No, wait, the KIDS ate lunch, not me. And that’s when the solitary lunch comes in. :) And it is rather refreshing sometimes!

    @living_abundantly - oh, you are so welcome! Linda had so much fun making those for you, and as a mother of little girls myself, I know how FUN it is to get things like that! So glad you are enjoying them! :)

  • Just getting to reading this after my week long internet fast.(:  Love this post, and love your humble honesty in it!  It reminds me of something we talked about on our way home on Sat.  It really is refreshing to read of someone’s writings that you can relate to rather than feeling like you can’t ever attain.  Speaking of the weekend, I came home feeling so blessed….with wonderful friendships!  Thanks for being one of those!!  Hugs!

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