December 11, 2009

• The Pancake Breakfast.

   

  So we were host family at church last Sunday. Probably were scheduled that way for a long time, but I didn’t realize/remember it until Friday. At that point it felt so last-minute to me (I’m not a good last-minute person…) because we were going to be away from home all day Saturday (date with my husband – went to see the Nutcracker! Yay!), which meant I’d only have Saturday night (late) and Sunday morning (early) to prepare (how do ya like all the parenthesis? ). And I didn’t have groceries on hand…  I was stressed!

  Saturday evening after we returned from Jacksonville, we were picking up the girls and talking a bit… We still needed to get groceries, which meant it would be after 10pm by the time we got home. Someone very wise suggested, “Why don’t you just keep it simple and do pancakes or something?”

  You know, I liked that. But it had never crossed my mind. It was a freeing thought, as far as prep goes. I would still have to stop for groceries at 9:45pm, but wouldn’t be up until Sunday morning preparing meatloaf and mashed potatoes. But could I really do that?? I mean, is that even proper for a Sunday LUNCH, when I’m hosting, of all things??

  Let me just say, I really liked this idea. I would have been thrilled going over to someone’s house and having this for lunch. But for me to serve it was a different story.

  On the way to the grocery store, the next morning, and even part of this week, I was trying to sort through why it was so hard for me.

  Probably the biggest thing was expectations I have placed on myself. Whether they are real (as in, what other people really do expect) or imagined (what I think other people expect), I have believed them nonetheless, and have been held captive to some very silly expectations. They are as follows.

  There seems to be a “when-a-woman-has-company-for-Sunday-lunch-it-better-be-amazing” stigma. Like, Mrs. Smith had three sides to her lunch last week, so I probably should too. Like, a normal meat and potatoes meal feels too common and should be something a little more “spiffy.” Like, all this Sunday lunch stereotype scares me to death and makes me hardly have company on that day!! Anybody else out there like that??

  I think I’m a little paranoid too, because I was already feeling a bit of guilt from a previous discussion among some older women, wherein I was merely a listener. It was a very well intentioned talk, intended to motivate and inspire. Instead, I felt utterly discouraged and depressed. They were saying that if you don’t have everyone from your church over to your home at least once a year for a meal, then your church is either too big or you’re not hospitable enough. Well, our church isn’t huge, but I sure haven’t had everyone over in the 3.5 years that I’ve lived here! Whew, the very thought overwhelms me!

  For one thing, it’s rather expensive to have a lot of people over. At least, if it’s according to my “expectations.” I’m also breast-feeding (not for the past 3.5 years, but right now! Ha!) which puts an interesting twist on entertaining.

  So, is all this even valid? Is this pressure something real or do I just imagine it and put it on myself?? Anyone else out there that feels the same way?? Where does this all come from anyway? And whether it’s real or imagined, how do I find God in it, and what does He think of it all?

  My next thing was to go on a guilt trip. Guilty that I hadn’t adequately prepared by being aware of it earlier – it was oversight on my part not to plan better. Normally everything gets written in my planner, but somehow this was completely overlooked. Guilty that I didn’t stay up till crazy hours of the night on Saturday to make up for my lack of planning (the whole “pennence” idea), and therefore at least have meat and potatoes, even if it wasn’t filet mignon, pasta in a white wine sauce, and fifteen side dishes.

  But, you guessed it – we had the pancake breakfast for lunch. 

  And despite my nervous feelings of serving this kind of lunch, I felt such a freedom. Pancakes, eggs, and sausage is a meal that feels very do-able to me, even if the eggs did end up sticking to a non-stick frying pan that had issues.

  As I was preparing the lunch after church, before anyone arrived at our house, thinking of how encouraging Ben had been of the whole breakfast idea vs. the “traditional Sunday lunch,” thinking and wondering what our guests would think of this (would they be disappointed? wonder what kind of cook I was? think I should start planning earlier/better?), I thought of the story of the widow and the tiny amount of money she gave to the Lord in the Bible. What she had to give wasn’t much, but she gave what she could, and she gave it with her heart.

  She could have saved her “pancakes” – after all, it wasn’t as good as the “shrimp dinner” that the people just ahead of her gave, so why even bother? But the point is not in what she gave, but in that she gave.

  And so the Lord impressed upon my heart that He was pleased with my pancake breakfast-lunch. He liked it! It made Him smile with delight! Not because it was a grand feast, but because we were giving what we could and offering ourselves along with it. And perhaps the Lord even purposely had me overlook the the timing of us being host family that Sunday, just to teach me a thing or two.

  I admit, I did apologize for our humble lunch, although now I wish I wouldn’t have. I think God is still teaching me things after the fact! And we – at least Ben and I – enjoyed our time with our friends so very much! After they left I found myself thinking, “That was fun! We should have people over next Sunday too!”

  As a side note, I do enjoy cooking and presenting food. And there definitely IS a time for adequate preparation. The hard part for me is that I struggle with being a perfectionist in some things, and in food presentation especially, and think it has to be a very certain way in order to be pleasing. And those thoughts are not of the Lord!

  Was reading today in Women of Dominion, and came across this excerpt on hospitality:

  “… [Hospitality] also requires a homemaker of confident realism who’s not paralyzed by the pride of perfectionism. A few hot dogs may have to be put on and served alongside a roast and mashed potatoes to feed unanticipated mouths. Such a mature perspective and performance requires a confident and realistic woman (of dominion).

  … It’s chiefly the woman of the house, not the man, who creates… sweet and hospitable environments…”

  I need to be challenged by thoughts such as those, True thoughts, not paralyzing thoughts of self -preservation(“This isn’t a typical meal! We can’t do this!” etc. etc. etc.). We can all fill in the blank! I’d love to hear feedback about this whole area, and any others you think of as you’re reading!

  All because of a pancake breakfast lunch. Thanks, Mama Yoder! And thank you, Lord!

  Anyone up for a pancake breakfast this Sunday?
  

  -clarita

   

   

   

  • 9:28 pm
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